Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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