4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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