I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
