Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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