he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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