I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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