The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
