What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
this will be a night to untag.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
