i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
