oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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