We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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