My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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