really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
