sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
