Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We were destined to go to rehab together
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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