no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
