I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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