when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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