just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
