we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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