Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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