So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize