its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
