The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
