Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You're like the curious george of whores
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
