well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
