I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
