Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
