it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
