wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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