How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
