How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
