The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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