trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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