i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
