gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
