I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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