i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
