the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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