Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
don't judge my taste in strippers
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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