You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
