The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
