i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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