Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
