i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
