did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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