you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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