I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I will pee on everything he values.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
