I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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