so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
