yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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