i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
