is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize