i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
