im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
