Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
