girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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