you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
