a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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