I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
