he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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