had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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